Neon Bible for the Modern Age by remember-december15, literature
Literature
Neon Bible for the Modern Age
The end of the world always happens in America
(I know, cause I saw it in the cinema). Religion died
maybe, on the streets of suburbia
Or maybe those revolutions, that used to happen
Brought the gods off their plinths (they were smaller on earth) riddled
With bullet holes. And they were beginning to rust. And miracles
Taste of metal and age.
Remember the river? Before the war?
And there is a new cult. They call it
Perfect. In Every Way. They call it Flawless.
Because they say you can never take up too little space in the world.
(Be happy. Buy something). Add to the debris. Like a highway
Peddlar.
Wares for sale. We've all got
Somewhere someone is hurt.
Somewhere someone is crying.
Somewhere someone is dying.
Somewhere someone
Somewhere someone
But I'm here.
Not somewhere.
I'm me.
Not someone.
And I'm hurt.
And I'm crying.
Because someone
May be dying.
Please stop.
Those scars on your arms,
I hate them.
They reflect so much pain.
I love you.
You're not alone.
Please.
Heal.
I want to do it
But I'm too scared,
Too paranoid.
Does that make me worse
Than just being able to do it?
Is my anxiety too much?
I can't feel much.
That's why my fingers and lips
Always bleed,
Always hurt,
But there's no scars.
Am I a fake?
Please.
Get better.
Please.
So I can stop
Feeling guilty.
Please.
So that I can stop
Wanting to do it myself.
Please.
Stop hurting yourself.
It reminds me of
Everything bad.
It hurts me.
Please...
Sometimes I wrap my arms around myself, right around my waist, and I pretend it's you. I try to imagine your scent, your feel. Your hands were rough and calloused, I remember that, but I didn't mind one bit. I can picture your smile perfectly, I have it memorized. I just like to pretend you're still here, you know? And I can so well that sometimes it makes me question consciousness. It's like a really amazing dream, except it hurts like hell and leaves you gasping for air when you wake up.
I don't think I've ever wanted something so much, in my entire life. Nothi